On potty privacy
There's someone who either works in or near the Student Services Building who is pee shy. Now, I understand going to the bathroom is a private thing, but ya know it is possible to take things a bit far. I have yet to meet said person, but from the various clues, I can deduce that this individual comes into work roughly around 9:30am and leaves sometime before 7:00pm when the cleaning people come in. This person also treats each bathroom stall equally (regardless of whether or not the lock works) because her evidence is equally distributed amongst all of them. Furthermore, this individual must have joined this section of campus somewhere between August and September of this year because the phenomenon I will soon describe did not manifest itself until then. I suspect it is a staff member and not a student. Regardless, this person is incredibly persistent in ensuring her bathroom privacy.
How does she do it?
Well, every single stall has a long strip of toilet paper meticulously tucked into the seam where the door hinges against the stall frame. Sure, I understand that the gap in the door is large enough to peer into. I mean, it would be disconcerting if you were off doing your business and you looked up and accidentally locked eyes with another lady who was looking for an empty stall, but seriously, no one ever peers in for *that* long. A quick glance from the outside is enough to tell if a stall is occupied.
I'm not saying that there aren't any peeping Tomasitas, but has anyone met one lately in the bathroom (we're going to refrain from discussing about Larry Craig. He's a guy anyway...)? And if there was one lurking, I don't think the flimsy waving piece of toilet paper ribbon is going to do much good. Besides, if they can see you, you can see them too.
Then there's of course the single women's bathroom by the Registrar's office with the frosted glass door. Who the hell came up with *that* idea? If you're out in the all waiting for your transcript or whatever, you easily make out the shape of whoever is sitting there. Heck in some circumstances, you can practically read what the headline says on the Daily Texan.
Ask Sarah. She's had people freaking press their faces up against the window asking "is anyone in there??"
Well yeah, dumb fuck...why else would the door be locked?
Most often the people needing to use that bathroom in particular are visiting moms to the University who are waiting around for the next campus tour to start (the Registrar's office bathroom is next to the Central Information booth in the Main Building) Perhaps it's the Texas heat or the anticipation of their kids going off to college, but more often than not, the proud momma will often miss the massive sign hanging out the door that says "Single Occupancy. Women's Restroom Next Door." It also has a huge arrow that points right in case you get the door mixed up with the elevator.
Anyhow there have been times where Sarah has almost had a heart attack midstream when a mother who really has to go starts banging on the door, rattling the door handle and yelling "why is this door locked???"
I say if you're gonna feel self conscious going to the bathroom anywhere on campus, that's the place. The university ought to tap into Ms. Toilet Ribbon's talents to help make that facility more private. She could plaster the frosted glass in duct tape and have a field day!
I suppose it is admirable that this individual felt the need to fashion her toilet paper ribbon on every stall so consistently and diligently at the Student Services Building for the past few weeks, because we are all at least a little pee or poo-shy. Maybe she ought to sit back and contemplate how hard it is on men. I mean they have urinals and freaking community troths to pee in. One tries to be polite by staring straight ahead, but peripheral vision is gonna let your pee buddy in on a some sights, I'm sure. This is way worse than the itty bitty crack in the door.
Maybe once she gets over this self consciousness, she could stop with the toilet paper ribbons and train herself to smile and wave at anyone who accidentally peeks through. That'll really keep people from looking in!
How does she do it?
Well, every single stall has a long strip of toilet paper meticulously tucked into the seam where the door hinges against the stall frame. Sure, I understand that the gap in the door is large enough to peer into. I mean, it would be disconcerting if you were off doing your business and you looked up and accidentally locked eyes with another lady who was looking for an empty stall, but seriously, no one ever peers in for *that* long. A quick glance from the outside is enough to tell if a stall is occupied.
I'm not saying that there aren't any peeping Tomasitas, but has anyone met one lately in the bathroom (we're going to refrain from discussing about Larry Craig. He's a guy anyway...)? And if there was one lurking, I don't think the flimsy waving piece of toilet paper ribbon is going to do much good. Besides, if they can see you, you can see them too.
Then there's of course the single women's bathroom by the Registrar's office with the frosted glass door. Who the hell came up with *that* idea? If you're out in the all waiting for your transcript or whatever, you easily make out the shape of whoever is sitting there. Heck in some circumstances, you can practically read what the headline says on the Daily Texan.
Ask Sarah. She's had people freaking press their faces up against the window asking "is anyone in there??"
Well yeah, dumb fuck...why else would the door be locked?
Most often the people needing to use that bathroom in particular are visiting moms to the University who are waiting around for the next campus tour to start (the Registrar's office bathroom is next to the Central Information booth in the Main Building) Perhaps it's the Texas heat or the anticipation of their kids going off to college, but more often than not, the proud momma will often miss the massive sign hanging out the door that says "Single Occupancy. Women's Restroom Next Door." It also has a huge arrow that points right in case you get the door mixed up with the elevator.
Anyhow there have been times where Sarah has almost had a heart attack midstream when a mother who really has to go starts banging on the door, rattling the door handle and yelling "why is this door locked???"
I say if you're gonna feel self conscious going to the bathroom anywhere on campus, that's the place. The university ought to tap into Ms. Toilet Ribbon's talents to help make that facility more private. She could plaster the frosted glass in duct tape and have a field day!
I suppose it is admirable that this individual felt the need to fashion her toilet paper ribbon on every stall so consistently and diligently at the Student Services Building for the past few weeks, because we are all at least a little pee or poo-shy. Maybe she ought to sit back and contemplate how hard it is on men. I mean they have urinals and freaking community troths to pee in. One tries to be polite by staring straight ahead, but peripheral vision is gonna let your pee buddy in on a some sights, I'm sure. This is way worse than the itty bitty crack in the door.
Maybe once she gets over this self consciousness, she could stop with the toilet paper ribbons and train herself to smile and wave at anyone who accidentally peeks through. That'll really keep people from looking in!
posted by cchang at 11:28 AM
11 Comments:
You said it, sister, re. men having it worse. I'm sure it's been done on the internet by now, but once upon a time I was thinking of writing a book called "Urinalia: The History and Etiquette of Man's Best Friend".
There is quite an elaborate yet largely unspoken etiquette to the whole thing, quite apart from staring straight ahead.
Let's say there's a row of 5 urinals and there's already a gentleman at stall 1. Etiquette demands the next guest go to stall 3. If you go to the uncomfortably close stall 2, that makes you creepy. If you go to the distant stall 5, you are suggesting the first gentleman is creepy and thereby may inadvertently offend him.
I could go on about this for hours, since I had basically a book's worth of material at one point.
I think Dave Barry may have beaten you to a publish text on urinal etiquette. He's got a book called "Dave Barry's Complete Guide to Guys" where he devotes and entire chapter or two on the very same phenomena you describe. Must be true! Both you and my darlin hubby brought up the schematic independently. :)
I don't understand why they don't just put stalls around urinals. Is it because they're afraid that some delinquent men will spray graffiti using their bodily fluids on the walls?
There are some cases of urinals having stalls. But, see, that too raises a bunch of implications and sensitivities.
Walls suggest that you are ashamed to have others see your junk or conversely that you are some sort of sexual predator from whom other men must be protected.
The etiquette demands that you be manly enough that you are not afraid of being seen but respectful enough that you stare "straight" ahead of your own volition.
It's stressful, I tell ya. You girls don't know how lucky you have it with your cushy private stalls and all ;-)
maybe they should install stall with mirrors above so that the threat of someone looking is always there, but you don't have that bothersome peripheral vision issue!
Do some pee shy men go into the stall with toilets (ya know, pretend to poop when really they only need to pee).
A friend of mine mentioned (and I have no idea if this is merely an urban legend) that the Japanese are prone to flushing in order to mask any sort of bodily sounds. This was so prevalent that some bathrooms had buttons installed that would play toilet flushing sounds to help with this as well as conserve water. Heh.
This discussion could serve as a FAQ of urinal etiquette, since you are asking exactly the right questions.
Shy men going to pee in a toilet stall when a urinal is available is the ultimate admission of inadequacy. The offender may (or may not) be able to hide his transgression from others but he will not be able to hide it from himself. Shame shall follow him like his shadow! ;-)
In my experience, Japan pretty much has its own rules for pretty much everything, so I would not be competent to speak to such questions.
What really tickles me is hearing about me who talk on their cell phone while at a urinal. It's not okay to talk to the guy next to you, but it's okay to talk on the phone?? Who makes up this stuff?
Oops. Men, not me talking on a cell phone! I don't talk on the cell phone in the potty!
Or women who sit on the pot and talk on the cell phone. I mean *other* people flush! I'm sure said person can hear that...and yet they're not offended that the person is talking to them while pooping?
Yeah...I guess I admit that it's a little wierd to talk to the person in the stall next to you. I had a job interview once over lunch and it carried into the bathroom. I didn't think much at the time, but in retrospect, that's kinda odd!
If you're talking on the phone and you hear a "flush" in the background on the other end of the line, I think Dont Ask, Don't Tell is the best policy. :)
But I encountered something at a urinal yesterday that I think would be very helpful for men. Posting handbills or ads or notices to read directly in front of the urinal. Then you don't just have to stare self-consciously directly ahead. You have purpose in doing so -- you're reading the notice of an upcoming concert or local event.
I had not seen this before, but it is perfect. Perfect for the people who want to advertise something, too. It's a captive audience. :)
I was going to say, they might as well put LCD panels up there and air football or new shows, but then again, men don't take long to pee!
Vitamin Kid, it's funny you should use that particular phrase, because there actually is a company that specializes in urinal advertising whose name really is Captive Audience.
Post a Comment
<< Home