Some words I just can't ever say right

With the luxury of a blog, I am shielded from showcasing one of my most embarassing attributes: My lack of eloquence.

Not only do I trip over words as I speak, but I suffer from a mild lisp and momentary lapses of honest-to-goodness anomia. In fact, often the word that comes out of my mouth is either completely opposite to what I intend on saying or it is something that is abstractly related. For instance, just a few moments ago, I asked T if he could hand me the blanket sitting on the couch. Except that I said "Pillow?" He of course handed me the blanket and went "a-noooo-meeeee-ahhhhh!"

Part of it may have to do with the fact that I speak a pidgin language with my mother. She's not a native speaker of English so much of the vocabulary I share with her is simplified or broken down to abstract parts. My favorite example is the word for nipples. "Nipples" in our pidgin language is "booby dots."

As you can imagine my various speech anomalies gives my husband, the linguist, hours and hours of joy as he analyzes what I say. In addition to the above, there are several words that I can't seem to say right no matter how many times I am corrected and they are the following....

Gewustraminer: next to Riesling, it's my favorite wine.

Correct pronunciation: ge-wurst-tra-meee-ner
Cindy pronunciation: ge-wusrt-tra-ga-meee-ner


Phlegm: we all know what that is. The unfortunate things is that I somehow internalized way back when that the written word was something different from what you would normally call a loogie.

Correct pronunciation: flem
Cindy pronunciation: fel-gium


Mausoleum: otherwise known as a big fancy tomb. I was not corrected on how to say this word until I was 25!

Correct pronunciation: mau-so-le-um
Cindy pronunciation: ma-laaaah-zeeee-um


pusillanimous it means cowardly

Correct pronunciation: pyoo-suh-lan-uh-muh-sss
Cindy pronunciation: pyooo-suh-mah-lan-ih-mus

There a few more, but I can't quite remember them off the top of my head. Anyway, I often wonder with how much I butcher my own native language...what calamities do I cause when I speak a foreign language? As I get older I've learned some of the words I use when communicating in Mandarin or Taiwanese are just flat out wrong or don't exist, but because my family knows what I'm talking about and my tone conveys plenty of meaning, so I never get corrected.

I suppose this is how new words are created.

On potty privacy

There's someone who either works in or near the Student Services Building who is pee shy. Now, I understand going to the bathroom is a private thing, but ya know it is possible to take things a bit far. I have yet to meet said person, but from the various clues, I can deduce that this individual comes into work roughly around 9:30am and leaves sometime before 7:00pm when the cleaning people come in. This person also treats each bathroom stall equally (regardless of whether or not the lock works) because her evidence is equally distributed amongst all of them. Furthermore, this individual must have joined this section of campus somewhere between August and September of this year because the phenomenon I will soon describe did not manifest itself until then. I suspect it is a staff member and not a student. Regardless, this person is incredibly persistent in ensuring her bathroom privacy.

How does she do it?

Well, every single stall has a long strip of toilet paper meticulously tucked into the seam where the door hinges against the stall frame. Sure, I understand that the gap in the door is large enough to peer into. I mean, it would be disconcerting if you were off doing your business and you looked up and accidentally locked eyes with another lady who was looking for an empty stall, but seriously, no one ever peers in for *that* long. A quick glance from the outside is enough to tell if a stall is occupied.

I'm not saying that there aren't any peeping Tomasitas, but has anyone met one lately in the bathroom (we're going to refrain from discussing about Larry Craig. He's a guy anyway...)? And if there was one lurking, I don't think the flimsy waving piece of toilet paper ribbon is going to do much good. Besides, if they can see you, you can see them too.

Then there's of course the single women's bathroom by the Registrar's office with the frosted glass door. Who the hell came up with *that* idea? If you're out in the all waiting for your transcript or whatever, you easily make out the shape of whoever is sitting there. Heck in some circumstances, you can practically read what the headline says on the Daily Texan.

Ask Sarah. She's had people freaking press their faces up against the window asking "is anyone in there??"

Well yeah, dumb fuck...why else would the door be locked?

Most often the people needing to use that bathroom in particular are visiting moms to the University who are waiting around for the next campus tour to start (the Registrar's office bathroom is next to the Central Information booth in the Main Building) Perhaps it's the Texas heat or the anticipation of their kids going off to college, but more often than not, the proud momma will often miss the massive sign hanging out the door that says "Single Occupancy. Women's Restroom Next Door." It also has a huge arrow that points right in case you get the door mixed up with the elevator.

Anyhow there have been times where Sarah has almost had a heart attack midstream when a mother who really has to go starts banging on the door, rattling the door handle and yelling "why is this door locked???"

I say if you're gonna feel self conscious going to the bathroom anywhere on campus, that's the place. The university ought to tap into Ms. Toilet Ribbon's talents to help make that facility more private. She could plaster the frosted glass in duct tape and have a field day!

I suppose it is admirable that this individual felt the need to fashion her toilet paper ribbon on every stall so consistently and diligently at the Student Services Building for the past few weeks, because we are all at least a little pee or poo-shy. Maybe she ought to sit back and contemplate how hard it is on men. I mean they have urinals and freaking community troths to pee in. One tries to be polite by staring straight ahead, but peripheral vision is gonna let your pee buddy in on a some sights, I'm sure. This is way worse than the itty bitty crack in the door.

Maybe once she gets over this self consciousness, she could stop with the toilet paper ribbons and train herself to smile and wave at anyone who accidentally peeks through. That'll really keep people from looking in!

Good God...HUGE bunny

**edit: Hmph, snopes has bandwidth issues. Stupid them....**


I guess this thing also hunts giant gummy bears. Can you imagine what a kick from one of these would feel like? At the same time, it sure is cute and probably quite nice to snuggle with in the winter time.

Picture from Snopes