Thursday, March 09, 2006

Gallery of Tacky Rings Found on Ebay pt. 2

As long as there is E-bay, there will always be tacky items. My item of choice to fixate on: rings. It's such a simple piece of adornment and yet so universal in nature. It can be a symbol of un-ending commitment, a glimmer of social status, a small token of affection... Basically, whatever the hell you'd like to it be. Whatever the symbol, there will always be a multitude of ways to showcase it. And because people's styles are often subjective, there are more than a fair share of rings with questionable taste. Let's tred down this path again. Shall we?

What the hell is this? A crab? A romantacized scrotum? According to the description, this was a custom made ring--which was obviously promptly posted by the recipient onto e-bay after she saw how it turned out. I'm sure the designer thought the ideas of the two hearts was cute, and it may have worked out if they didn't function as earrings for that poor center stone.

She wanted it with a cherry on top, so the jeweler had to oblige. I guess he figured he's throw in a tower as well. What really gets to me is the diamond shag surrounding the top lip of the tower. It reminds me of someone living atop a high apartment airing out their carpets.

These were the party favors they handed out at the last Republican National Convention.

Once again, I have to emphasize that bigger is not always better. It really doesn't matter that this is a 59.8 ct Emerald. It is still ugly. There it is. Just sitting there in its plain glorified uglyness. I don't think the stone is even translucent.

Eeeeewwwwww! "genuine diamonds" Just because it is carbon does not mean it is diamond. Really, why bother? I think the jeweler just reached into a can of industrial abrasives and mounted them on this ugly and gaudy ring. This is the type of ring someone wears when they want to try to impress people but can't afford to.

This ring also works great as an appetizer. This must be an example of a jeweler with rudimentary setting skills. It's as if all the stones were speared onto a toothpick.

And just because you are capable of mounting something, doesn't mean you ought to! The starting bid for this ring was rediculously high because the stone is a fine specimen of amber. Why, there's an entire ant colony trapped in there I'm sure.

I come from the planet Zogg. Bring me to your leader...

M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U...
Works great as a bottle opener as well

I just don't get this one. They look like they are gathering together for tea and crumpets, or something. The sad thing is that those rubies are actually quite nice.

Behold! The levitating rock!

This looks like crumpled aluminum foil to me. Then again, fixating on that yellow streak, it sure reminds me of the old adage "Don't eat the yellow snow." This isn't quite as awful as the gold plated poopie ring from pt. 1, but it is pretty close.

This poor topaz is so big that the jeweler had to make a diamond seatbelt to hold it in.

Sure. We understand you couldn't afford a huge diamond. There's no shame in that, but don't try to compensate by mounting it on a huge setting!

As someone put it so eloquently on the diamondtalk forum: What a waste of diamonds and labor. Indeed. I'm sure the bench jeweler wanted to shoot himself after this one. I know I would.

Related Link: Gallery of Tacky Rings Found on Ebay Part 1



Blogger heavy metal mom said...

My favorite is the appetizer ring, but what made me laugh the most was the reference to Zogg.

You have really outdone yourself in finding some
tacky rings, my friend. I'm impressed!

Thursday, March 09, 2006  
Blogger cchang said...

Yeah, I'm amazed at what all is out there. Just the "artisan" category alone on E-bay is enough to give one a heart attack.

Thursday, March 09, 2006  
Blogger Sammi said...

I could *almost* see wearing the levitating rock, though mostly I could see wearing it as part of Tacky Cartoon Pagan Mystick Power Jewelry. Good god, that you can find these means they exist, and it makes me want to cry :P But then, I guess it's right up there with hats like, oh, just about ANY of the hats of lj user anavoog, or any of the "yarn" made by fuzzybumblebee or pinkpeppercorns. Makes me want to stabbity, it does, with the sock needles!

Thursday, March 09, 2006  
Blogger cchang said...

Hee hee. You said "stabbity"
I need to check out some of those atrocious hats you speak of

Monday, March 13, 2006  
Blogger blogsurfer said...

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006  

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