Friday, May 18, 2007

Gallery of Tacky Rings Found on Ebay pt. 4

My my my...it has been way too long since I've done my tacky rings bashing and I apologize for the long delay. How could we possibly let these atrocities get go unscathed?

With Monica's annual Meatfest coming up, where she and her hubby show case the multitude of ways to prepare beef, pork, chicken, duck, turkey, shrimp, fish, buffalo, etc. I figured this would be THE ring to start things off:



I just love the detail of the copper grease catcher underneath the pig.

Speaking of animals, I'm assuming this one is supposed to emulate an owl:


Those are REALLY nice diamonds on the side. Fundamentally, it's not a bad design and yet, I just don't like it. It looks like we immortalized a Muppet or something.

Speaking of which...

...looks a little too much like Gonzo to me. Or, maybe it's phallic. I have no idea.

But, in case that one above is too subtle, we've got this classy number:



Yes, that's right. It's a freaking vagina and the clit is a pink diamond. Look, I understand the whole bit about being proud of your sexuality, etc. etc. but for God's sake, how is this even an aesthetically pleasing piece of jewelry? And sure it looks *fabulous* with tarnish and crud caked inside...

Sweet tooth:


Homage to a lily pad?


Say it with me "I am from the planted Zogg. We come in peace..."

Part of me wants to buy up all of his buddies, make a small house and let them all co exist lovingly with one another.

I just don't even know what this is. I undestand being proud of your first tumbled rock, but gosh, there are plenty of other ways to wear this!


This was found at faycullen.com (of all places!) so it's not a ring off of Ebay, but I was just so mortified that I HAD to put this on here.


What we have is an incredibly good old European cut diamond flanked by smaller diamonds creating what could have been a stunning engagement ring and then, for whatever reason, perhaps as an after thought or maybe the jeweler drank too many gin-and-tonics, someone decided to stick on 2 fine rubies. Viola, instant homage to Howard Hughes.

Speaking of engagement rings, here's another one with a good diamond, but questionable design. What is that screw supposed to imply?


And, I'm sorry, no matter how high the mounting is, you're not gonna fool your gal into thinking the diamond is bigger than what it is just because it's theoretically closer to her. She may very well take it and poke your eye out:


Ebay claims this has a full ct. of diamonds...do you see any diamonds in this ring????


I don't think industrial abrasives should count as jewelry!

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Earlier Tacky Rings Posts

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7 Comments:

Blogger sarah said...

those are absurdly bad. how are you supposed to wear that first one? that's just bizarre.

it was great to see you, btw. :)

Friday, May 18, 2007  
Blogger Sammi said...

That first one definitely wins the monkey prize. Holy hell.

Friday, May 18, 2007  
Blogger cchang said...

They're like brass knuckles...er piggy knuckles? I dunno...just bizarre.
It was really nice to see you too Sarah.

Friday, May 18, 2007  
Blogger Monica said...

AAAAGRH!!!!!!!!! I am horrified by
the vagina ring!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am open as anyone, but that is
just HORRIBLE!!!!!!

I also think the pig ring and the sweet
tooth ring should be melted down and
all jewelry making supplies stripped
from the "artists".

Friday, May 18, 2007  
Blogger Sheena said...

Heeeee. It's amazing what some people will do to jewelry. Thanks for posting these. It's always a fun read. My favorite this time (or least favorite?) is the one with the screw.

Friday, May 18, 2007  
Blogger dasMobius said...

OK, I must be a moron, but I think that "Zogg" ring is actually pretty cool! It would make a fine addition to my Star Wars/Star Trek collection!

Friday, May 18, 2007  
Blogger cchang said...

Cool because it is just SO SO SO weird? Well, I guess I can see that...you need ALL of them though.

Friday, May 18, 2007  

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