Tuesday, July 04, 2006

July the 4th

I've spent July the 4th frantically trying to avoid neighbors. See, they've got this block party thing going on where they block off the road so cars can't escape. All the housewives come out with the prepared dishes and set them out in the middle of the road while the children throw water balloons at each other and the men hang out in their driveways cooking up steaks on the grill. The sense of community is nice and a reason why I like my neighborhood. Thing is, I don't take advantage of it. Why you ask?

Well for one thing, I feel very much like an outsider. Last 4th of July I hung out at the block party and had a hard time conversing with the ladies. They seemed somewhat appauled that I worked and didn't have kids already at my ripe old age of 28. When they asked where I went to school and what I studied, I noticed everyone just sorta stopped talking to me after I told them I had a master's in mathematics and worked as a programmer. I got along with the husbands much better, but some of the wives had the nerve to mention that I was getting too much attention from them, so they too stopped speaking to me. There was one lady I liked who quilted and we got along swimmingly, but she moved. Anyhow, things got awkward when she stepped into my home to look at some of my pieces and saw the "red room" and all the gothic photography on the walls. It wasn't meant to last.

Trav faired slightly better last year the the notion that he didn't own a grill nor was he an avid fisherman made him somewhat unpopular as well. I also noticed his hair was a good 6 inches longer than all the other men.

I also suspect we're the youngest married couple on the street.

The crazy people who live next door to us with the freakishly bad drummer never came out for this party nor did this come out this time as far as I can tell (peaking through the curtains). I would assume we have the most common with those guys even if they have a meth lab in one of the bedrooms.

But this is Austin! you say. Well, yes and no. I live so far north I might as well be in Waco. No actually, I'm in Round Rock which is freaking conservative and I also live next to a huge ass church that is so big they have their own traffic control cops working there on Wednesday.

So I've spent all day hiding indoors. Unfortunately, I didn't make any plans with anyone for today and I really should have because I am bored out of my mind. Everyone I contacted was either unreachable or busy today. I can't even find my mom. I missed the call from my friend Belinda as T and I were gorging ourselves on pancakes, sausages and hashbrowns at IHOP. It's 8:00 and I can't set foot outside of my house without being accosted by chubby women holding casserole dishes or being zinged by a kid with a roman candle.

SOMEONE HELP ME!!!!

Oh yeah, happy 4th of July, everyone.

3 Comments:

Blogger johnnyleechang said...

You shoulda did like Homer Simpson did when he did not want to go to Ned Flanders BBQ (announcing the opening of the Leftorium). Just make quick hellos, take a handful or hamburger here , hot dog there, scoop of potatoe salad and then go home and eat. ha hah.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006  
Blogger Monica said...

Ewww. That sounds awful. If it makes you feel better, I was in opposite land.

I had to drive to Corpus to pick up Molly and ended up at a friend of a friend's house with a couple who could've taught white trash 101. Disgusting house, spending their money on big screen tvs and junk, their daughter is 305 lbs. and she's 11. I couldn't hold a conversation with them either. Racist, ignorant, and crude.

Next 4th let's have a party at my house!!!

Thursday, July 06, 2006  
Blogger cchang said...

Yikes! How's Blake doing, BTW. I know you told me his mother passed away.

Friday, July 07, 2006  

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