Sunday, May 25, 2008

On shopping for clothing

Is it me of whenever I walk into an American Apparel shop, I feel like I'm in a Feist or Bjork music video? I walk in, am instantaneously blinded by the super saturated candy colored spandex and cotton and then suddenly feel like I should jump onto the sales counter and sing my affections to the cashier who is wearing a striped T, electric blue leggings and over-sized sunglasses. I think the stark white backdrop of the store environs juxtaposed with clothing devoid of any sort of logos baring nothing but pure hues is what impacts me.

You find the "clean" look in many other stores. Take Apple for instance. Does a solitary iPod need a 4 ft. radius if display space? No of course not, but the vast expanse of space around the object makes it appear much more important. Same goes for clothing shops like C. Jane or Wish. These also tout the minimalist environs and display each item of clothing as if it were a work of art. Unlike American Apparel, however, these shops convey a sort of truncated color scheme when it comes down to the actual merchandise.

American Apparel, by contrast touts every possible hue known to man and some that may not even really register on the regular color spectrum. In addition, the retail space is jam packed with clothing. It's like a techn-icolor nightmare. The sales people sorta just blend into the pile of T's that resemble an acid trip. Crazy, I tell you.

I realize this place has been around for a while, but I've never set foot in one in all of my life. I realized yesterday that I was not amongst my kind when I caught site of myself in a full length mirror---an anomaly amongst the happy shiny trippy peeps wandering about with my black vintage Fender T, black rockabilly capris and black pumps.

I could just feel the stares. Your lack of color is oppressing me.... the sales people seem to say.

Well yeah, your overuse of color is giving me a migraine!

I kinda wish we had a camera with us because it probably would have made an amusing photo op. Needless to say we did not buy anything, but I just wanted to point out a great irony....the Lucid Dementia T-shirts we order are printed on American Apparel stock! That's what I find so amusing.


Thursday, May 22, 2008

it's about time

I sat down with my friend Claudia and had a deep and honest and discussion about... me. I don't mean what's happening and stuff, but rather, what's going on inside of my head, who I think I am and who I need to be.

In some ways, I think of Claudia as my older wiser self (and she sees me as the younger version of her) so it works out perfectly. I go to her for advice. She tells me what she would have done differently when she was my age. It's kinda scary, but at times it seems like she can read my mind even though we don't really keep in constant contact with one another. She's just really truly understands me and how I think. So, when I get a reality check comment from her, I take it very seriously. These two in particular:

"You need to take a break and emotionally divorce yourself from everyone but you."

"Who you were raised to be isn't necessarily who you are."

I've been on a slippery slope emotionally ever since I quit my last job and my dad died (these two things are sorta intertwined together in the back of my mind even though they have nothing to do with each other). Deaths amongst loved ones, divorces, broken friendships, trusts betrayed, financial crisis --you name it, my circle of friends have been through it all and I trudged through the ugly with them since I'm normally the rock. The stable one. The person who doesn't crack under pressure...

The good thing though is that all these events caused me to self reflect much more frequently about what all one actually *needs* to be happy in life.

Find happiness within is such a hackneyed expression but it speaks truth. I see it so obviously now, how my friends flit around exchanging one external object for another constantly looking for that one thing that truly inspires them. With Jocco he moves from country to county looking for nirvana. Jay seems to think finding "the one" will solve his problems. Miki's always changing jobs None of them are happy...on a smaller level everyone does this with material objects striving for bigger and better, faster or newer.

I suppose I go through hobbies and musical instruments searching for that one particular thing that inspires me truly. I'm still searching for that, so I guess truth be told "find happiness within" is a good statement to take to heart.